Your “about me” page – also known as your profile, or agent bio, is supposed to be about you. It’s the only page on your entire website that should be about you.
This is where you can brag a little about your expertise, tell what you have to offer, and share some insight into who you are when you’re not working.
But still… Even though the page is about you, it really isn’t. And all those “I’s” can just be too much.
- I hold this designation.
- I’ve won these awards.
- I love working with first time buyers.
- I get my short sales closed in record time.
- I have 23 years’ experience.
- I’ve lived here my whole life.
Recently I came across a bio that was a prime example of too much “I.” The introduction was 30 sentences long. Twenty-four of those sentences began with the word “I.” And one of the others said “It gives me satisfaction to…”
The cold hard truth is, nobody wants to read that much “I.”
The whole “I” thing may be the reason why so many agents choose to have their bios written in the 3rd person. It doesn’t sound quite so self-centered to have someone else saying “Sally Ann has a talent for finding affordable “dream homes” for first time buyers.” But even then, the copy needs to be a bit more focused on benefits to the client.
OK – What did I mean by “even though it’s about you, it really isn’t?”
It’s about you in the context of what you can and will do for your buyers and sellers. It’s about you in how those people can relate to you on an instinctual level. It’s about you in how you give strangers reasons to see how you are like them, so they’ll trust you even before they meet you.
There’s the problem. What’s the solution?
A bit of creative writing in place of merely relating facts.
Consider these examples:
Instead of “I take the time to understand your needs,” try: “Whether buying or selling, clients working with me can immediately sense that their satisfaction is my objective. First I take the time to understand their wants, needs, and goals. Then I take the time to make sure they have all the information they need to make a wise decision.
In place of “I stay in constant communication with my clients,” try “Constant communication is one of the hallmarks of my service.”
To see full-length examples of how to make “about you” really come across as “about them,” visit Copy by Marte, where you’ll find links to bios on several of my clients’ real estate websites.
